Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

^{*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.}

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For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.

Reddit is deliberately killing third-party apps. If you use Apollo, RIF, BaconReader, or essentially any Reddit application other than the official Reddit app, you will no longer be able to do so come July 1st.

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By implementing comically exorbitant fees for their previously-free API (the technology that apps use to exchange data with the site) Reddit has taken steps to force use of the official Reddit app, mobile browser, or nothing when using the site from mobile. This is likely in advance of its widely-rumored upcoming IPO.

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This significantly hinders the great many people who find the official Reddit app to be bloated and difficult to use. It is also a harsh blow for accessibility, with Reddit flatly restricting the ability of blind users to access the platform thanks to its poor first-party app. While Reddit has been creating and abandoning Talks, creating and abandoning RPAN, and fine-tuning silly avatars and award icons, they have left accessibility and community health in the dust.

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What does this mean for /r/TwoXChromosomes?

Many subreddits are choosing to "black out" to protest Reddit's decision. While /r/TwoXChromosomes supports protests of Reddit's deeply harmful corporate greed, we prioritize the wellbeing of our community above all else and believe it's important that the subreddit stay operational for you to use.

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As moderators, when we face the large and fast-moving queue in /r/TwoXChromosomes, the official Reddit app can be nonsense to moderate with when compared to far more functional third-party apps. The same comment removals and bans that can be quickly and easily done in RIF or Apollo can take longer and be more difficult in the official app. While Reddit has promised to add and streamline official app functionality, the history of moderating on Reddit is the history of hearing admins promise positive development and not follow through. We have strong reason to believe that Reddit will not prioritize the health of our community, or anything other than shareholder interests.

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While you can join us in calling on /r/Reddit to not take away the tools we use to browse and maintain their site, you can also help the mod team here at /r/TwoXChromosomes. Please click "report" on any rule-breaking comments you see, to ensure we can find them since it'll be harder for us to do now. You can modmail us to bring something very prominent or very vile to our attention. If you use Reddit just from your desktop, or are okay with moderating slowly and clumsily from a phone, please apply to become a mod. Thanks to our reduced ability to moderate, the subreddit will very likely become a worse and more uncomfortable place to be until we can figure out how to fill those gaps without support from the admins.

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Reddit is throttling our moderation ability with this move, and we'll need all the help we can get. If you see an increase in rule-breaking and truly horrible comments, please understand that the mod team is doing the best we can but Reddit is standing actively in our way.

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We deeply hope that Reddit chooses to prioritize the safety of some of its most vulnerable users over its IPO, but sadly not having that expectation, the moderators of /r/TwoXChromosomes would be grateful for your help and understanding.

It seems like they think oh it's ok to sleep with ME but anyone else and it's too easy.

(Background, for context: we have sex about 3 times a week. He wants to way more than I do. I mainly do it to get him off my back. I fake it and then go about my day. Sad but true. If we do not have sex, he gets in a pissy mood and I feel guilt. We both work from home, and I hate it. Other than this issue, everything’s pretty normal with us. He’s my best friend in the sense that we pretty much like all the same shit and have fun going out etc.)

Today was frustrating. I had 3 back to back meetings in the morning and then had the camp thing and dentist. I was busy and having sex with you was (sorry to say) not a priority and it did slip my mind. I made us lunch, per usual, and then you come out in a bad mood, as you always do when I don’t have sex with you. It was then I remembered.

Again, I do not appreciate these guilt trips and attitudes when I don’t have sex with you. I am not an object that you can use to relieve yourself. And I don’t buy the affection story. It’s barely affection with you because we just have sex for a few minutes and that’s it. We never cuddle outside of sex and when we do, you immediately start trying to have sex or start touching me in a sexual manner. Just because I want to hold you in bed does not mean you can start grabbing at my vagina or at my chest.

It’s come to a point where I am constantly made to feel like I’m not enough (nor will I ever be enough) for you in the sex department. And it’s worse that we both work from home, because the reminders are more constant.

Our sexual energies do not match and they never will. Maybe it’s time to start thinking of a different outlet for you because I can’t take the shaming anymore. And if it’s not a different outlet that you’re seeking, then maybe you deserve someone completely different that can better satisfy you. Because it’s made obvious that I’m not that person. Never have been and never will be.

It's June 8th and I’m already struggling and will be until July. I contacted my sister and poured my heart out to her telling her I need help with her daughter. Rent increased. I got fired from my serving job. I relied on the daily tips to survive. The fridge and pantry are bare and I’ve already gone to the food pantry for the month. I honestly don’t know where our next meal is going to come from. My sister's response was “You wanted to play mom so she is your problem now”.

Idk if this is going to sound horrible but I never wanted to be a mom. I didn’t want kids. I’ve lost a few good men due to me not wanting kids. The day Lex showed up on my doorstep it was always supposed to be temporary. Reunification was the goal. My sister is never going to stop doing drugs. I used to tell myself she just needed some space and to lose everything to get the wake up call she needed.

Except her everything isn't Lex, it's heroin.

My aunt thinks she knows best for me. My aunt says “you need a boyfriend but don’t have you know what. She said don’t be a ho but find a man. She keeps telling me to smile at men on the street. Once I was on the bus with her when I was 17. And a grown man was looking at me weird. Out loud she told me to smile at him and talk to him. It was very weird and he was clearly in his late 30s.

She says I am stubborn. If I don’t start now I won’t have a husband, and what man would deal with me. I’m 24. If I wanted to, I would’ve. I ran this convo by my mom. She said “your aunt is right”. My sisters have been dating since their teens and I’m so so happy for them. They never told me “you should date”

My aunt said “you aren’t normal then, are you gay?” This convo came up at my birthday dinner, graduation, and phone call. I avoid this topic. Hang up. My aunt says I’ll regret it in the future and be sad and alone. She said I’m a cry-baby and at 24 she already had 3 kids, toughen up.

: the convo once came up because my one relative is dating and she ghosted our plans. We had a plan to go shopping, she was with her bf. Aunt laughed in my face and said I don’t understand love. That’s not an excuse to ghost either

I had been going to this dermatologist for a couple of months now for acne. As previous medications weren't working, he told me that he would be putting me on Accutane for a month.

He asked regular things like my weight, whether my period was normal and whether I get breakouts around my cycle etc. I told him my periods were very irregular, but I was expecting my period as I had sore breast and it was a sure sign for a period for me.

He asked me if I'm getting any white discharge, I said no. Then he said "Can I check?" I didn't say no or yes. I was so confused because I never really expect him to look for discharge.

There was a nurse in the room. Before I could say anything he asked her to help me get undressed and he did wear gloves. While he was putting on his gloves, I asked him why this was needed he said during periods hormones can go up and down and he wanted to see if everything was okay. I wasn't experiencing any symptoms of a yeast infection. Normally I get really itchy and can see white clumps but I hadn't see anything before.

He told me he's not inserting anything inside, and he didn't. He just opened my labia to look inside my vagina. He then asked me to turn on my stomach and looked at my vagina area while lying on my stomach. I did feel him pushing my butt cheeks but I think it was to examine my vaginal area.

Along with the Accutane, he told me that I had candidiasis. He told me to take a single dose of tablet that came in a pack of 3.

Also I'm not sexually active, but he didn't even ask if I was sexually active before putting me on Accutane. Something that I know is now very important.

Has anyone experienced this? Does a dermatologist have any reason to check for white vaginal discharge if I'm come in for acne? What do you think?

I really get on well with my boss. She’s older than me and is really supportive.

She’s very corporate with a super professional appearance.

Today the mask slipped, very slightly and I love her for it!

She was getting passionate about something problematic. In the official meeting she referred to ‘colleagues being unprofessional’. When they all left and just her and me, she referred to ‘those fuckers’! She then looked horrified and immediately apologised. But she trusted me which was amazing.

The other thing i found out is she has a really cool tattoo on her shoulder, which I noticed when she was adjusting her strap in the ladies. She noticed me looking and laughed and said “the old boys would have a heart attack if they knew”.

Even though she’s slightly covering up some of her real self, which I suppose doesn’t feel right, it almost makes her seem more authentic to me.

I was walking along and saw a guy up a ways sitting against a building smoking a cigarette. He saw me too and stood up and kind of slowly sauntered towards the front of the building and watched me. The other side of the road was just woods, no sidewalk so I kept on and prepared for him to make some comment for me to ignore. Instead, when I’m just about ten paces away he starts slowly sauntering up the sidewalk in the same direction. So now I’m essentially following him. He placed himself in the dead middle of the sidewalk and started going at about half my pace. I stepped out into the empty street to pass him but he glanced back and quickened his pace a bit. I got back on the sidewalk, he slowed again, back trying to pass, quickens his pace again. He then began weaving as to truly take up the whole sidewalk. At one point I made that little scuff noice with my shoe and he looked back and smiled and slowed down more as if waiting for me. It was becoming very clear that he was not going to let me pass. It was like the reverse of being followed. I looked at him, did not smile, and matched his incredibly slow pace from a long ways back until I got to the next cross street. When he got there, he looked back, I think to see which way I might be going. He paused a long time then continued straight. I veered a hard left and power walked home checking my periphery.

What the hell is that? OK I guess it’s a good strategy for creeps. Targeting a woman, and putting yourself in a position where she hast to ask you for something, even if it’s just to get out of her fucking way and act like a normal human.

Typically, I wouldn’t think as much of it, but it was just SO. DAMN. OBVIOUS. Who does that?

I constantly see posts about how people get intimidated or apprehensive about men walking behind them - and it's something that's always on my mind when I'm walking.

Ive recently made a habit of getting outside more for walks, and generally do one of two things: Change my direction if possible, or when I'm within 10-15ft (I walk quite fast) I'll say "passing on your left, just tryin' not to seem creepy behind ya' haha" but I still like it makes people uncomfortable as I approach to pass

I know that there will always be apprehension and/or fear in some cases, but what do Redditors feel is the generally acceptable way to alleviate some of that fear without going out of my way? It's no problem when I'm out for a walk, but it'd be nice to have a clear backup plan when I need to go for the pass.

Hello everyone. I just want to have a conversation with all the women on here about men who don’t believe that women are happier single and childless. I have seen and heard men on podcasts and on social media say that women are not happier being single, unmarried and childless and they actually believe that women are miserable being single, unmarried and childless. I have also heard men say that single women are lonely. This is not true at all, because there are some people who are in marriages and in relationships who are not happy in them and they are also miserable. You can also be in a relationship and marriage and still be lonely in them. I have also heard men say that a woman’s job on this planet is to be with men and to procreate.

In my personal opinion, I feel that the answer to women are happier single unmarried without children is yes and no. As a woman myself, I feel like it is safe and I can speak for some of us women and say that some of us will love to be in a healthy and loving relationship and be married with children, but if that is not available to us, then we will be okay and happy to be single. It is better than being with a man who is going to treat you like crap.

I am not married and I don’t have children, but I have had married women and older women who are retired tell me and advise me to not get married. This right here says a lot.

I also want to say that the happiest man is a married man and the happiest woman is a single unmarried woman without children.

So why do you think it is hard for men and that they don’t believe that single unmarried women without children are happy?

This happened just very recently today and frankly, was both amusing and saddening situation.

Backstory: This person, a man, has been my language learning partner for about a year. Mainly our conversations have been very casual - occasionally he would send me photos of his dinner or of different places he visited. I always assumed that we were just friends as there never was any flirting between us. I never really felt a big cultural difference between us - we didn't really chat about religion, politics or anything that would turn into a cultural war. Just general "oh, this is how you do *that*? Funny, we do *that* so differently" and then laugh about it.

So you can imagine that what happened today was 100% unexpected. I was feeling good this morning so, I wanted to take few new selfies and at the same time update my profile photos on different platforms. It wasn't long after I received a message from him stating that "the glasses really don't make you look good".

Previously I've had most of my photos taken without the glasses as I didn't really like how they looked. However, I have really liked my new glasses and felt confident about wearing them. I never really considered the photos without glasses as cat fishing as my face otherwise remained the same. Perhaps I've been wrong about this?

Anyway, I thought he was joking at first, but as I explained my bad eyesight and the fact that I liked these new glasses he became very persistent. He continued repeatedly telling me how much older I looked. Not old as "mature and classy" but old as an old and ugly grandma. He then suggested I should re-take the photo without glasses.

Obviously, I got frustrated. I found him repeating the same line very rude. He wasn't being typically polite either, his language was very blunt. I told him 1. he doesn't need to look at the photo so closely if it bothers him so much 2. I liked this photo (honestly the only thing that mattered). 3. I've had several photos without glasses so this was for a change. After all, that's me in the photo and that's my appearance most of the time (being kind of generous here, I wouldn't put that much effort into my looks on daily basis).

Then he completely flipped - he accused me of not ever listening to his advice, that he only wanted what was "the best for me" and how I was too stubborn and hard headed. He was also referring to our older convo of me talking about a sensitive topic and how "I would just keep on repeating the same mistakes". On top of that he ended his message with "Goodbye forever".

What the heck just happened??? Did I just lose "a friend" over something so stupid? Was he even a friend to begin with? And why on earth he would think his "advice" would be appreciated when I never asked any advice to begin with????

I guess the trash took itself out. Yet, I feel saddened for many reasons. Even if he wanted to be helpful he completely missed the mark - I never asked for his opinion about the matter and moreover, the way he said it sounded very... controlling? As in " I don't like how you look in this photo so change it", which is ridiculous especially since the photo is not even offensive! It is just me.

But hey, I guess women are illogical and emotional or whatever.

Edit: thank you so much for your comments! They have given me a lot to think about and honestly it just felt good to vent. I will definitely look for a new language learning partner but I think this was also a good time to have a little break. I want to clarify few things: 1. Somebody mentioned him being an immigrant? Perhaps I misunderstood the original comment but he wasn't an immigrant. We live in different continents. Explaining his behaviour as being "uncivilized immigrant" is just plain wrong. I aproached him because he was a local and was willing to chat with me in his native language. 2. While arguable we couldn't had been close friends I considered him a friend - if I was ever to travel to his country I would have definitely seek out for his advice and help. He seemed reliable and trustworthy. I would have wanted to meet him over a cup of coffee. Not anymore. 3. He is blocked.

As an extra treat I would like to include the "outraging" photo that started this crap show. view at your own risk

I don't know where else to put this, but i hope some women here will understand what i mean and not take this in bad faith, because every time i try and talk about it, people just roll their eyes. this is pretty much a long vent about misogyny so here goes.

i am a pretty girl. not naturally, makeup + clothing choices + many years of money and effort put in to my appearance. but i am really only pretty when i make a concentrated effort. other times, im very average looking or less. and this has made me notice such a severe, disturbing difference in the way people treat pretty girls in all aspects of life.

what is it about society that feels so entitled to beauty in women? so entitled to my time, attention, and cooperation whenever im in public, simply for existing this way?

the amount of harassment i face daily is exhausting. the way i am looked at by men (like a piece of meat, a walking sex object) makes me want to throw up and go hide in my house. the way i am looked at by women (a stupid slut, a pathetic hooker) makes me want to curl up in a ball of shame. every day, men think they are entitled to my time, attention, kindness, and tolerance. i have a fake phone call line as my top contact, and constantly have to giggle and brush off blatantly predatory flirting as to not get murdered.

i wish i could be beautiful all alone in a room by myself. i like to get dressed up and stay in my house, sunbathe in my backyard. i wish i could be beautiful in this world and still be a human being. pretty girls do not get the privilege of invisibility. i feel like some sort of walking public art piece for others to look at and touch however they like, or an animal on the nature channel.

i will go out in high spirits, cheerful and comfortable in my beauty. a woman will tell me she loves my haircut, and i will smile. a man will compliment my tattoo, and continue walking, and i will glow. but then a group of men will pass by, the hungry looks on their faces making my stomach sink, and i feel their eyes still on my back even when i have passed. a pair of women will stare as i walk by, and as i stop to check my phone, i hear one whisper "how much do you think she paid for THOSE?" men act as though i am required to humor them constantly because i know what i look like, and i should be flattered by their attention. i am not even free around women, they treat me as a competitor or as someone privileged and ungrateful. i wish i could only allow my beauty to be seen by those i choose. i hate how people taint it with their preconceived notions.

and i will not pretend being a pretty girl gives you certain advantages sometimes; once in a while i will get a free drink from my local starbucks, someone will hold the door for me, or reach up to a shelf where i can't in a store. but overall these things are never as frequent as what i have to use it for. being pretty is just a protection sometimes, a way to allow me to giggle and flirt my way out of terrifying situations.

i wish i could be pretty and live my life as such without the rest of the world taking it as an invitation to make assumptions and harass me.

again please don't take any of this in bad faith please. i've just gotten really frustrated over the last couple years with how people treat me constantly and how whenever i try and talk about it i'm told that it isnt a real problem. obviously the ultimate problem here is misogyny but it's a weirdly specific facet so i wondered if anyone else knows what im talking about. sorry for the long vent, i hope someone reading this understands what i mean

Without fail, every OBGYN visit I take off my underwear, fold it, and hide it under the rest of my clothing.

My friends and I were talking about this and we all do it. God forbid the doctor or nurse see our panties when they're diving head first and elbows deep into our vaginas. They're spelunking in the lady caves and apparently all we can think about is, "Omg did I hide my underwear? What if it's ON TOP of my clothes pile?!?"

Why are we like this 😂

I've been perusing this sub by "new" and noticed that I have to open every comment as if they've been downvoted. I've also noticed a lot of new posts with downvotes. It's it just me or anyone else noticing this? It's not happening in any other subs.

Is there just some rando incel devoting a lot of time and energy to slightly annoying us?

Since I was very young, about 6 maybe? I was still having accidents and wetting the bed. I had doctors appointment after doctors appointment, and as a kid, I figured if I didn't drink liquids, I wouldn't have an issue. Cue UIT after UTI, antibiotics after antibiotics causing thrush infection after thrush infection, a whole lot before I was even 10. If I didn't have a UTI I had a side effect from the prescription I was on for it. Turns out the solution was pretty simple. I took years of very intimate exams and tests. Totally ruining my future sex life, having so many intimate exams as a child, to proper health care professionals to understand that fact I just had an over active bladder. The solution?

I hate to say my childhood (and psychological adulthood) was ruined because it honestly took years before I was given incontinent pads. Yep. You heard. A thing so common in every shop now.

Who do I blame? The years of embarrassing leaks and flat out floods, at such a young age, and it took years to figure out a simple pad would help. But they're made for adults. No child size.

OK, little kids size, but my age? Nothing that fit. And again, the literally constant intimate exams and hospital admissions because apparently, even in the late 90s, no doctor noticed the correlation between my accidents and my dehydration. To me (to be fair, obviously) dehydration should have been linked to the incontinent nature of my issue.

Is this an example of the still real issue of people not taking womens problem seriously?

I was too young at the time to call anyone out or to really talk to myself. But it should have been fairly clear a young child with bladder issues might avoid things that effect the bladder?

And why oh why did it take years for an older child sized pad to become a thing? It took years for me to get proper underwear ands pads for an older child to avoid the constant bullying at school from the almost daily accidents.

Sorry for the long post, but omg did this issue stain my whole childhood, but if I had access to anything to hide the issue... if I wasn't so scared of wetting myself.... I wouldn't have been so dehydrated, I wouldn't have been in hospital quite to much, I just needed a little help for the symptoms for the cause to work itself out.

Here I am today, I'm my 30s, still with an over active bladder. But now I know how to handle it without the infections and complications. Now I have the TOOLS to handle things.

But lucky me, I have an issue with anyone being 'down there' and an issue with needles due to the many unnecessary exams (by mainly male doctors I must add) for a very simple problem I feel one good chat with a proper child oriented doctor would have solved.

It wasn't a big thing. I just pee more often, but it took so many hospital hours and tests and doctors, for the cure to be time and pads.

Idk what the point of this post is... but as an adult who can mostly get to a toilet, or buy and adult pad if needed, it just seems dumb I suffered for so long because no one ever thought an older child might need something above a pull up. You have to be a baby or a 50 Yr old. No in-between

There was a post that hit the front page the other day and it featured a woman who was clearly quite pregnant in the middle of what appeared to be a pretty intense workout. The OP critiqued her for engaging in such an activity while pregnant.

Then people alerted him to the fact that this pregnant woman was a highly-trained, competitive athlete with numerous medals. The "dangerous workout" the OP believed she was doing was actually a fairly light one compared to what she usually did. As one user aptly put it, "You're more likely to get hurt walking to your fridge than she is doing this."

I didn't comment on the post, but as a mom of three, it has stuck in my mind. I was fortunate enough to be healthy enough to workout daily throughout all three of my pregnancies up until the day I delivered. I discussed my workouts with my OBGYN, modified them as necessary, and happily continued with my fitness routine. I ran or used the StairMaster for 5-10 miles a day, lifted, and did yoga.

I was barely four months pregnant with my first when a woman at the gym told me to stop working out because my baby "would be too strong" and would hurt me as I gave birth. Another glared at me and said I was going to hurt myself and my baby. I received many, many such comments during that pregnancy.

By the time I had my second and third, people stopped making these kinds of statements. I thought it was because people were more educated about pregnancy and/or were at least polite enough not to offer unsolicited opinions on things for which they had no context.

But maybe it still needs to be said. So, as a reminder, what a pregnant woman does at the gym is between her and her doctor.

So, for context:

For the last year I’ve been very unwell. About 2/3’s of my ailments have been intimate issues that have honestly been debilitating, from contracting HSV1 and having outbreaks so severe I can’t walk (let alone go to work or carry out any other activities), being diagnosed with severe recurring thrush, being diagnosed with desquamative vaginitis, frequent and crippling UTIs that leave me bed bound for at least 48hrs. You name it.

It’s not been a fun year.

On top of all of that, I’ve had a host of other medical issues. At one point I was taking 3 different antibiotics, on top of the antifungals and antivirals.

I’ve felt like something has been off for a long time… but no one was taking me seriously.

In the last two months my periods became extremely irregular (they’ve always been super regular and predictable). My cycles increased in length, to around 45-50 days compared to the 26-28 days that they always have been. I also started experiencing irregular bleeding, spotting between periods but sometimes I’d bleed heavily after sex. This has happened twice. One of those times I genuinely though my period had started, there was so much blood, but it stopped after 24hrs and my period came a couple weeks later.

After the irregular periods started, more things began happening. I suddenly lost my appetite (and I’ve always had a HUGE appetite). I wasn’t getting hungry at all, and when I did eat I could barely eat half a meal. I’ve lost 8% of my bodyweight in 6 weeks, unintentionally.

During this time I’ve had a Pap smear done. The results took a LONG time, and my nurse has been brilliant in tirelessly working to obtain those results for me. My results came back HPV Positive with Borderline Changes, and I’m terrified.

I’ve been referred to have a colposcopy and biopsy, but I don’t have an appointment yet.

With all the symptoms I’ve been having, and now this… I’m terrified. I’m only 25 years old.

Does anyone have any advice? Or a similar experience?

Yesterday I napped a lot due to getting over kidney failure, and I’ve been mostly napping recently so my boyfriend has been taking care of my house. He stays here a lot in the summer when he’s not at school to contribute, as he IS planning on moving in in the spring, but this is currently my house that I rent.

This being said, he’s been answering the door and this made him a little mad. Me a lot mad when I heard about it.

An exterminator salesman rang the doorbell, boyfriend answered it, and he kept trying to sell to my boyfriend for the house despite my boyfriend saying over and over again “well, again, I don’t make the financial decisions for this house, it’s my girlfriend’s.”

Eventually my boyfriend just closed the door I guess. He wasn’t getting it.

I know this is super small but I’m just angry because I’ve worked really hard to afford this house and it’s ALWAYS this “the man of the house” mindset and I’m tired of it.

Right off the bat I want to say I know there are laws that would keep him out of the appointment room if I don't want him there. It's more that it would cause a big scene and a lot of unpleasantness if I told him not to come.

Just last week I went to the emergency room for abdominal pain that hadn't gone away in over a week and a slight fever. To my utter shock I left with the diagnosis of a large ovarian mass, very likely to be cancer. The imaging looked scary enough that I was referred to a gynecological oncologist(gyn onc from here on out) before my blood work for tumor markers came back. After an agonizing week with absolutely no answers my blood work came back with only very mild elevations in some tumor markers, suggesting it might be benign. However, due to how the mass looked on imaging I still need to follow up with gyn onc, because the blood test don't completely rule out cancer.

My parents live in another state, so my mother has wanted to fly out to see me ever since this all started, but I didn't want her to drop everything until we had more answers. We agreed she'd come out and go to my gyn onc with me. Once I got the blood work back I asked her if she was still planning to come since the chances of it being cancer are a lot lower now, and she said of course and my dad was coming as well. When I read that my heart just dropped.

My dad invalidated all of my emotions as a kid. To this day I really struggle to form close relationships with anyone because of him. On the phone with them after finding out he informed me his sister once had a ovarian cyst of about the same size as my tumor, but he couldn't do it without calling her fat. Because of him when I first got a copy of my CT results from the emergency room my initial emotion was validation and relief. As a kid he would always say I was being a hypochondriac or making things up or exaggerating, so reading the CT report made me feel like I had hard proof I wasn't making it up or being to sensitive.

So now he wants to come to my gyn onc appointment. I can almost hear him in my head scolding me if we're told it's benign. I actually feel guilty already for all the people I already told I might have cancer (although maybe that's fairly normal?). I just don't want him there, but if I say that it will cause all sorts of trouble. And, even after everything if I hurt my dad's feelings I'll feel guilty about it.

Sorry for the long post, just needed to rant.

so yesterday, i was minding my business doing my job, when a coworker i barely talk to said he had to ask me a personal question. I was expecting something related to the job, since I’m a higher role than him, maybe about my pay or something of the sort. He then proceeded to ask me, “Are you pregnant?” I replied that I wasn’t. He then decided to add “oh well cause I noticed you were getting fatter. So I was curious.” literally ruined my entire mood. I’ve been insecure about my weight gain and have been trying to lose weight recently, its just so disheartening and down right harassment to make comments like that.

Seriously, what are men thinking when they have a dick pic as their profile photo? Or they open with dick pics, or lines like “wanna fuck?”

They’d get so much farther just having a normal profile with a short description. How have they not figured this out?

And when will they realize that their dick isn’t unique enough to lead with?

I don’t know if you all have seen this yet - there’s a Reddit ad I keep being bombarded with: a woman (heavily implied because of her hands and manicure) putting a condom on a banana. Ladies have you ever seen an ad like this with “manly” hands doing this? I realized I can’t think of a single instance of this.

Why isn’t this marketed toward men? Why is it always implied it’s the woman’s responsibility to put a condom on the person who literally has the penis?

I don’t know why this bothers me so much but it just does. End rant.

Edit: and on the flip side why don’t we see ads with men opening a birth control pill box and handing a woman her daily pill?

It just infuriated me yesterday. I just saw this mother taking care of her baby for 14 hours on my flight and the husband beside just sat there and did nothing. Not even hold the baby for a while so the mother could get sleep. My mom asks me all the time why I’m child free and this (plus her relationship with dad) is the reason. I would never want to go through this.

Edit: Not men in the comments grasping at straws to defend this man who is a complete stranger. 😂😂😂Making up all sorts of excuses to avoid the responsibility of childcare. “He must’ve been working, maybe they take turns taking the baby, you shouldn’t assume something about a family, blah blah blah.” Stfu, y’all reaching so far up your ass that it’s coming out the other end. Typical male behaviour.

Yesterday I met up with a guy to sell him some items I had on FB marketplace.

He asked to meet at a Dunkin Donuts. When we meet, I notice he’s wearing a uniform of a store across the street, so I comment something akin to “oh I see why you wanted to meet here, it must be convenient from your workplace”. He says yeah, thanks me for the items, and I go about my day.

Today I get a message from this guy THROUGH marketplace that says “Are you single”.

Are you fucking kidding me? This guy really is asking me that after interacting for less than a few minutes? Does he really think picking up someone from Facebook marketplace is the way to go?

I’m beyond disgusted and creeped out right now and glad I stuck to my rule of only meeting in public places. Stay safe out there y’all :(

My boyfriend told me today that a coworker of his has a girlfriend of a few years that lives in another state, and that he left work early to go see her so he had to cover for him. I asked him what her name was and he said he didn’t know. I asked how that was possible, since he’s worked with him for years and it must have come up by now, and he said it was because his coworker always refers to her as his “girl” or his “old lady.”

I laughed and said if I had a coworker who mentioned having a partner, I’d probably not only be able to tell him their name, but also their occupation, favorite color, hobbies, etc because those just seem like common get-to-know someone questions. I said it was weird he never mentioned her name to him. Then my boyfriend remarked that they all know my name because he just calls me by my name when they ask about me.

For some reason that made me feel good, but I didn’t know why until just now. I realized I liked it because he actually treats me like an equal person with my own identity, not his possession. This should be the bare minimum, and yet it took me almost 20 years of dating to find someone who does this. Every partner before him treated me like I belonged to them, and society actively encourages us to desire to be treated like that because it’s “romantic.”

Not just that, but his coworkers never talk about their wives or girlfriends’ passions, abilities, or achievements; they just praise them for what they do for them or how attractive they are to them. I realized when I hear my boyfriend praise me, he talks about how smart he thinks I am, how strong, how capable. This is how it’s supposed to be, and yet he is the only partner I’ve ever had who does this.

It just made me think about all the ways, even the really minuscule ones, that the patriarchy shows up in society.

Edited to add: I am a cishet woman in a relationship with a cishet man; this is only something I’ve noticed about these kinds of relationships. I’m sure it’s different for other people. This is my personal experience.

Title says it all really. After about 4 years officially together, and 3 years before that of “what are we”, I’ve had enough. We starting “seeing” each other when I was 20(F) and he was 29(M).

I’ve realised I’m stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship and I want out. I’m fucking sick of the belittling, the gaslighting, the everything. I’m constantly walking on eggshells around him because if I say the wrong thing, I’m told I’m being “too critical” of him. Bear in mind that me being “critical” is asking him something basic like please can you have a shower as you’ve not showered for 2 days.

Whenever I try to bring things up about how I’m feeling, I’m the problem. I’m being too sensitive. But y’know what? No. I’m not. I’m fucking done. I’ve wasted my 20’s on this man believing that I was always the problem and he would change. That suddenly by me becoming the trophy girlfriend who agreed with everything he said would make him respect me.

I’m sick of falling for the love bombing and the caring boyfriend act when he knows he’s losing me. I’m sick of having my boundaries always disrespected. I’m sick of him treating my mum like shit because he knows she’s on my side and can see through his act. I’m sick of him charming my friends and playing the “amazing” boyfriend role perfectly, even fooling me, when he’s around them.

We don’t live together because he doesn’t have a job and bums around all day playing video games while swearing “he’ll find something soon”. All of the dreams of the future he fed me, I realise were fucking false, they always were.

I’m going to leave him. I deserve more. Even if I’m single for the rest of my life, it’s better than this.

If you’ve read all of this, thank you. I needed to vent and no one to do it to other than strangers on the internet.